It can seem overwhelming to start writing your life story or writing the biography of a family member. But it doesn’t have to be.
There are many approaches to use – we’ll detail some of those in this article – but the best one is the one with which you are most comfortable. Experiment to determine what works for you.
Like any goal that requires a substantial commitment, it is necessary to think of it not as the whole, but in parts. For example, if you were planning to run a marathon, your training would include gradually adding mileage during your training runs in the months leading up to the big event. The same applies to writing a life story. Focus on the various aspects of your life and write about each one. And remember, you don’t have to be a professional writer. You are naturally a storyteller – and writing a life story is storytelling.
Here are some ideas on how you can get started.
- Create a timeline and list the milestones of your life. Divide your life into decades and in each decade from the date of your birth until today, begin listing events, milestones and other important happenings that you think you may want to write about. You don’t have to start writing about them yet. Simply start the list. You can add to it in the coming days. The goal for now is to simply come up with a list of topics. For example, you might write: “Schools I attended and what I liked or didn’t like about each one,” or “My first pet,” or “The day I got engaged or married,” or “The births of my children,” etc.
- Simply pick a story that is meaningful to you and write about it. It doesn’t matter whether it is a story from childhood or a recent story. The idea is to get started writing.
- Write chronologically. Many people find it easy to start by writing about when and where they were born and then proceed from there. Although “I was born on…” will not be how you will eventually start your story, you can always tweak the beginning sentences and chapters – and the flow of the writing – later on. Again, what is important is to begin writing.
- Write vignettes. Think of a topic and write the story in a few paragraphs. Pick another topic, related or unrelated, and write a few paragraphs. You can always go back and add details or expand each story.
- Pick a topic that you consider to be a life-changing event in your life, something that altered the course of your life or had a profound impact on you. Write about it in brief or in detail. Don’t worry about how it will fit in with the rest of your life story. Just write. You may find that it helps bring other areas of your life into focus, or helps you remember other stories.
- Use photos as a starting place. Look at photos and write a brief story about that photo. Don’t simply write the names of the people in the photograph. Write about the story behind the photo.
- Look at books or guides that have lists of questions and prompt memories. The free Legacies & Memories’ Life Story Guide has those.
Some people who think about writing their life story – or having it written – put it off because they believe their memory is not good enough to recall stories and events either recently or from long ago. Certainly, this can be true for some people. But for most, the idea of not being able to remember enough about your life to write is usually just an excuse not to write. While our memories may not be as sharp as they were when we were younger, this issue of worrying about remembering is usually just a way to rationalize procrastination.
Once you start writing stories – or even writing a list of topics that you intend to write about – each story or memory will inevitably lead to another memory and another story. If it doesn’t, there are numerous lists and memory joggers that can help you get started. (Request our free Life Story Guide.) Or those of us who are professional biographers and have experience interviewing and writing life stories and memoirs, can help you gather stories or help you get started.
More Ideas
Listed below are a few more practical ideas about ways you can begin, even if you think you won’t be able to remember stories.
- Carry a few 3 x 5 note cards or a small notebook and jot down topics any time you think about something you may want to write about later. This is the perfect antidote to those who say they have difficulty remembering events or stories because all of us find ourselves thinking of previous experiences and events or people who have helped shape our life. You don’t have to write the story yet. Just make a note so you will remember to write it later.
- Think about the people who are important to you – a spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, grandparents, other relatives, friends, mentors, teachers, colleagues, etc. Write about them. You may even decide to interview them. By approaching it this way, you may find it easier to write because you are not writing strictly about yourself, although the story is about you because you want to be sure and write about the positive impact that person has – or had – on your life, and what that person means to you or meant to you.
- Instead of focusing on writing your life story, begin with the idea of writing about the values and ethics you want to share with your children, grandchildren and other family members. Life lessons you have learned, the wisdom you gained from your experiences and the values and ethics you live by and cherish are important to future generations of your family. Some people refer to this type of writing and these documents as ethical wills. They are really a summary of your life philosophy, but they are invaluable to family members.
- Think about a problem you have solved. Write about it by describing the situation, how you overcame the obstacles, and what the outcome meant to you.
- Pick a topic you want to write about – and write it in the form of a letter. This approach is beneficial in two ways. It gets you started writing – and it is often easier for some people to write a letter than it is to write a story. But a letter is a form of storytelling.
- Consult your journals. If you have been writing journals during your life, those writings can be extremely useful in helping you remember and frame your life story.
Remember, what is important is not so much “how” you start gathering stories and writing. What is important is to begin.
